Don’t be afraid to ask for help they say! No question is a dumb question. If you don’t know the answer, find out. These are all things we have been told repeatedly as children growing up.
I have no trouble admitting when I do not know things and I certainly have no trouble seeking out the answer to my problems or questions. However, I do struggle when it comes to asking for help. I usually tend to keep to myself and find the answer on my own. I’d rather not bother people. But lately, I have been putting myself out there. I have been asking for help. I have been asking questions that pertain to me personally. And boy, is it really uncomfortable and are people are NOT willing to help you. Responses are short and cold. Or, if they aren’t they go like this, “Hey, yeah! I’d love to help you if you send me XXXX amount of dollars.” *eye roll*. Oh, ok, let me just open up my wallet and slide that on over, because we all have that laying around while paying for college.
I let that old feeling of anger and resentment slowly creep up on me today. I’ve been reaching out to multiple people and constantly being turned down. Asking for help is not something that I do and it’s not something that I think I will continue to do. It just brings me back to high school when I knew I had to do things alone. I pushed that resentment aside but I want to talk about it briefly.
I attended a large high school. During my freshman year, I was the new kid and there were 1400 students in my class. I was literally just a number. If you weren’t a sports star or apart of an organization that made the school money, the faculty did not care to know you. My parents were on disability and could barely afford me, let alone pay for activities for me (or for the nine children they had prior). During my sophomore year I started working full-time in order to take the burden off of my parents. From then on I started to provide for myself fully. Furthermore, neither of my parents completed high school. Asking them for help on homework was a dead end; anything school related was foreign to them. The school staff was much worse, at least my parents had good intentions. I specifically remember speaking to my English teacher about another who repeatedly cheated on tests. I worked hard for my grade and didn’t think it was fair they were getting away with cheating. The teacher told me that they probably cheated due to insecurities and was not going to make an issue out of it and neither should I. That student came from a wealthy family, I did not. I certainly never went to another teacher for anything again. And that sums up my faculty/student life at my high school. I was an A student who did not get in trouble but had multiple failed interactions with the staff, even when it was for positive things like applying for college. I was basically flying solo in high school when it came to academia and my future. I was failed in that area. The lack of support at that age was so very crucial and I received little to none.
But support is important now too. It’s unfortunate that people are so put off by the idea of helping others who have had difficult or different pasts. It’s ok though. The one thing I have is perseverance. When I am in the position to be of guidance or a mentor to someone, I will be more than happy to do so. All you underdogs out there know what I mean! To all of us nontrads, socioeconomically challenged, minorities, whoever you are that never stood a chance— let’s be of helping hands when we finally make our goals. Cheers to you all!
Disclaimer: I’m not speaking about the legit businesses that I’ve contacted regarding mock interviews, application assistance, etc. Those are services I sought out knowing they charged a fee.